When does it get easier??

Does it get easier to be around other pregnant people over time? My husband's cousin and I were due within a few days of each other. I unfortunately miscarried my twins. She just found out a few days ago that she is having a girl. My husband asked me if I'm upset that she's pregnant to which I replied, "No, I'm upset that I'm not.". I'm not unhappy for her. She too has experienced pregnancy loss and I am thrilled that her pregnancy is progressing beautifully and she is having a healthy baby girl. I'm not jealous, mad or whatever. I just want the same and being around her a lot just reminds me of where I should be in my own pregnancy and it feels like I open the wound every time she hits a big milestone. I feel like I'm being selfish for being this way even though I know I'm truly happy for her


 I feel I must grow closer with God to get through this horrible time while I await for the miracle of life to re-enter my body. I could really use some prayers right now.